Tanzanian Girls: Please! Stop Acting “Maisha”

If I had a dollar for every time I hear a song, or read a tweet, or listen to some man complaining on about how Tanzanian girls are ‘just’ about the money, I would have been Oprah by now.

When I speak of a Tanzanian woman/ girl here, I am focusing in on girls aged sixteen to twenty-five, most of whom are actively dating, some of whom are actively seeking for a permanent partner.

See, this is the thing about pretenders, when “wanao act maisha” speak up, pleading their case, they are often dismissed as ‘too extreme’ and they often end up with the argument, ‘well, not all of us do such and such’, which disqualifies their argument. That’s not what I’m going to do here.

I agree, there is a culture that lowers a man’s eligibility if they’re not rich enough, a culture that is inbuilt in women to ‘go with the rich one’, but as a woman, a Tanzanian woman, this is not all we want, although sometimes, due to the nature of our upbringings and of course, economic hardships, a well off man would not hurt.

Disclaimer: I am not out here speaking for every Tanzanian girl and woman, I am here to proclaim the good news, to preach about the apparently not so obvious needs that Tanzanian women/girls look for during this age. I also recognize that some might think these opinions naïve or uninformed, I assure you, they are not.

So what do we want, you ask? Well, this isn’t a question I can answer without asking men the same thing. What do you want from a woman or girl you’re seeing or planning to marry? I am going to add in some biblical reference in here to make this easier to explain,

‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’ Or something along those lines. You want good sex, girls and women do so as well. You want thoughtfulness in the relationship, them thinking about what you’re going to eat when you come back from work, that’s what they want from you.

It doesn’t even have to be monetary. Although, I must agree that due to societal standards, ‘monetary thoughtfulness’ has always been up there in terms of pleasing your female love. So think about what you want from a girlfriend, wife, lover, or whatever you want to call her, tweak it appropriately, and do it for her.

If you want respect and submissiveness, well, be ready to do the same for her.

So no, money doesn’t cut it, money doesn’t make you the perfect partner, or her the ‘luckiest girl’, we also want to be loved, thought of, respected, treated like the queens we all are.

Wako Mpenzi!